Dec. 8th: Holiday Market
On Sunday, December 8th, from 12-3pm, I’ll be at a Holiday Market hosted by Redeemer Church in La Mirada. I am excited to share that not only did I design the promo images and will sell my art at the event, but I’ve been working with Becky Spradley of Dig Plant Love and Andrea Perez of Adrea’s Bakehouse to make everything happen! A big thank you to Redeemer Church for hosting. Space is limited, but we are packing in vendors and even a hot cocoa stand to make it the most cheerful little boutique you’ll visit this Christmas season.
* Update: instead of live music, we will have a small craft station.
Transforming Patterns
Every time I do an event, I have to ask myself why. It’s a lot of effort! Each and every time, I remember that this is not just a sales-hunting experience. It’s a heart-healing experience. Let me give you a little context:
A few years ago, a relative asked me about an upcoming craft fair. I could share only the basics before they interrupted, “maybe I’ll be able to drop by,” and then paused. The air between us felt thick.
This pause was where I should’ve felt happy and told them how very happy I was to hear a generous “maybe.” Deep inside, I knew the truth. For many years, that pause had meant: “I’ve thrown you a crumb, now go on. Tell me how grateful you are.” Patterns like these run deep, but I didn’t like enabling the same old hurts.
This time, instead of forcing out expressions of gratitude, I thought, “but they’re not actually going to come.” Not showing up was another painfully predictable part of the pattern. I spoke truth to myself, calmly, deep in the confines of my mind where my own thoughts were learning that they could speak up and be genuinely safe. I felt a little more honest, a little more secure, and a little more myself.
While all this went on inside me, I settled on a blank look. It was a simple refusal to read between the lines. (I didn’t know this at the time, but this response is called the grey rock method, if you’re curious)
Once they realized that I’d called their bluff, confusion crossed the relative’s face. A little flustered, they moved the conversation to a new topic. They didn’t ask about the event again.
The day went on as usual, but I wasn’t the same person I had been just a few hours ago. All the work I’d done in therapy was starting to click. I didn’t need to work harder to get affection from people who claimed they loved me without ever showing up. I could, instead, invest in relationships with people who reciprocate.
Support is a Treasure
Investments really do pay off, especially when they’re, ironically, not about transaction. Kindness, generosity, and support go a long way.
As I set up my table for my October event, Amazing Grace Comic Con, this memory lingered in my mind. It’s been a few years since I started saying no to this relative and yes to the people who genuinely show up for me. It’s been a good few years. My husband and I are always developing better teamwork, learning new ways to be present for each other. My sister shows up, at our house and at most of my events, and we always have good conversations. I also got to table next to a friend at this event. Being able to witness her in action, selling her books, was such a gift. (See the novella series Glitch Logs by Rachel Beck. Highly recommend.)
The Amazing Grace Comic Con was a unique event. It had very light attendance, but not for the reason you’d suspect. The organizer passed away while he was pulling logistics together. His wife wanted his event to happen anyway, and with a lot of hard work, it happened. It was not the bustling event he had hoped for—advertising didn’t hit socials in time—but it was nice in its own way. It was part Comic Con, part memorial. An undercurrent of deep, barely acknowledged feeling flowed just below the surface.
People would walk up to my table and ask “how did you know Joe?” I had to respond that I didn’t know him, but considering the kindness of the people in the room, I had many proofs that he was a fantastic person. Great at bringing people together and making his creative vision come to life.
I was in a room full of people who 1. care and 2. show up. Now that I’m free from bad relationships, the memory of the painful, false support makes any genuine support that I get to witness shine even brighter.
Want to see some behind the scenes work that went into this event? I did my best to capture the process, from prep to running the event to clean up and decompression afterwards.
Thank you!
I appreciate your care, your kindness, and your support. Want to keep up with my work? Here are a few ways to get involved:
And of course, please put the December 8th Holiday Market on your calendar! It’ll be great to see you there.
